My sister, the "monster bait"

On this Friday the 13th, I think a monster story is in order.

All my life, I have slept in what my mom calls a nest. I put my bed up against the wall and line the edge with blankets and stuffed animals. Basically, I sleep with my back against the wall facing my room. No fingers or toes poking over the edge of the mattress EVER (you know, the monster under the bed…) I still sleep this way now. Married 12 years. Same stuffies and blankies.

It may just look like it is comfortable, but it’s mostly about the mosters. If I can see the whole room, I might escape being eaten. I might have time to get out.

Well, when we were young, Becky-Boo and I would have sleep overs. I would ‘host’ these in my room. This was VERY good for the monster situation. See, if the monsters came in, they would eat her first and I would have time to get out. Perfect! The only problem with this arrangement was that I made the poor decision once of telling her about the monsters eating her first.

She didn’t sleep over much after that! I can’t blame her tho. If I found out I was monster bait, I’d leave too. Poor Becky-Boo.

2 more things.

Once as an adult, I decided there were NO monsters under my bed. Silly silly girl. So I boldly stuck my toes down over the edge of the mattress. I felt empowered. I wiggled my toes all around. HA! NO MONSTERS! But then my cat, who was in the room without my knowing it, ATTACKED my foot. I screamed and my heart raced. NEVER AGAIN. Stupid monsters.

At my husbands work, he sits at a counter and helps customers all day. His is the second chair from the door. So, when anyone comes in all mad, they go to the first guy! Husband thinks it’s just because coworker is closer to the door. I say its monsters. All monsters. Coworker is closer to the monsters, therefore he gets eaten while my husband can escape!

See?